by Sonja Dove, LMSW
Given that grief can be such a crazy-making experience, full of all those instances that leave you feeling overwhelmed, disrupted, and confused, there comes a natural wondering, “Am I okay?” Thus, a need for grounding or anchoring when you feel adrift. A need for anchoring to your truths. Grounding yourself in the truths of grief. This can be especially challenging when the rest of the world seems to be behaving in such a way that we think those truths can’t possibly exist, so therefore, “I must be going crazy!”
The good news is that there are some very real truths that we can use to remind us that grief is a natural, normal response to the loss life presents us with.
Author, Gary Roe, provides five important truths to remember when you are feeling ‘crazy’ in grief:
- Your mind is getting squeezed. Just as your heart has been hit, your mind is taking a beating Grief and the corresponding emotions are taking up more space and requiring a vast amount of focus and energy. Your mental capacity may be naturally challenged and even reduced for a time.
- Forgetfulness and some memory issues are to be expected. Forgetfulness begins to show Memory issues surface. You blank out, even in the middle of important conversations. You can’t pull up what you knew yesterday. You can’t remember where you were this morning or where you’re supposed to be next. This is common in times of loss.
- You’re not crazy, but you might be in a crazy-making In an age when we’re on the alert for mental illness, dementia, and Alzheimer’s, this is scary. We naturally wonder what’s happening to us. Are we going nuts? You’ve lost someone you love. Life’s usual borders are being strained. Intense and deep grief has been added to your life on top of everything you do and are responsible for. The pressure can be immense. It can wear you down.
- Your system is on overload. You’ll most likely notice a change in your mental capacity for a Your system is on overload, so it naturally eliminates items your heart doesn’t see as necessary to your survival. Overwhelm and overload are common.
- It’s okay that you’re not at your You’re not the same. Everything is affected right now, including your mind. How could you be at your best, or even perform at your usual level?
Please give yourself a break. All your margin is being gobbled up by grief. This is natural and normal. Take a deep breath. Focus on grieving well. You will get through this.