Poem By Donna Ashworth


You lose them over and over,

sometimes in the same day.


When the loss, momentarily forgotten,

creeps up,

and attacks you from behind.


Fresh waves of grief as the realisation hits home,

they are gone.




You don’t just lose someone once,

you lose them every time you open your eyes to a new dawn,

and as you awaken,

so does your memory,

so does the jolting bolt of lightning that rips into your heart,

they are gone.




Losing someone is a journey,

not a one-off.


There is no end to the loss,

there is only a learned skill on how to stay afloat,

when it washes over.


Be kind to those who are sailing this stormy sea,

they have a journey ahead of them,

and a daily shock to the system each time they realise,

they are gone,



You don’t just lose someone once,

you lose them every day,

for a lifetime.


In her poem, You Don’t Just Lose Someone Once, a fellow griever, Donna, shares validation in the grief journey and how challenging it can be, especially when experiencing significant loss. Donna recognizes that loss and grief are not a one-time experience but rather cumulative loss that is made up of all the small idiosyncratic experiences from day to day. Grief is a process; one that requires time, intention, and support. If you are grieving or know someone who is grieving, as Donna suggests, be gracious as skills are acquired to assist in healing through the loss.